


The Story of Robbie Shapiro and Kermit the Frog

by robmit



Category: The Muppets - All Media Types, Victorious (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon is a Suggestion, Crossover, F/F, F/M, I don't understand American universities, M/M, Post-Canon, Right person wrong time sort of thing, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27050020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robmit/pseuds/robmit
Summary: Robbie Shapiro and his friends from high school have embarked on the next chapter of their journey after graduating- going to Yale University for performing arts. He's abandoned his old friend Rex in search of new experiences (and a little bit of healing).New experiences certainly arrive.... in the form of a charismatic, anthropomorphic frog with very long legs, and Robbie finds himself drawn into a new world of romance, adventure and conflict that he never could have expected.
Relationships: Robbie Shapiro/Kermit the Frog
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	The Story of Robbie Shapiro and Kermit the Frog

**Author's Note:**

> This is only half-serious: as in it's serious in my mind but it's gonna be kind of wild all the way through. There is a lot of inner dialogue from Robbie, which is going to take up a lot of time. Also, please suspend your disbelief, or you're going to be incredibly confused.
> 
> Any comments, questions, or concerns would be very much appreciated! This entire concept came from a dream that I had, and I'm trying to embody that ethereal, surreal feeling throughout. Sense isn't my first priority here- more adhering to a certain Vibe that is impossible to describe.

Dearest reader,

The author of this work has allowed themselves certain habits of writing that may not seem to be in good form. This is of the utmost importance, due to the gravity of the story that is about to be told. Robbie and Kermit are incredibly complex characters- in order to do them justice, it is necessary to dive deep into their inner psyche, and this necessitates the many tangents gone on by the author. Although skipping over the long-winded thought processes of the protagonist would perhaps be more concise, it would do our dear Robbie Shapiro no favours. He deserves to be known, truly known, and it is with this in mind that the author so often lets us in on his feelings. As well, with such a long-winded story to relay, sometimes little details slip through the cracks. Do not think of these as “plot holes”- moreso, they are the natural result of writing nonfiction in a narrative form. The same is to be said about the various changes in tone and writing style that take place throughout the story. As the moods of the characters change, so the pen of the author is moved in different ways. Consistency may seem an essential trait of good writing, but it is only a coward who writes consistently, in the opinion of the author. 

Now, without further ado, let us begin. 

Seems I got it wrong, I was chasing after something that was gone  
To the black of night, now I know it's not what I wanted at all  
And you said something like, "All you want is all the world for yourself"  
But all I want is the perfect love  
Though I know it's small, I want love for us all

-Sufjan Stevens, “Impossible Soul”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was only 7 in the morning, and Robbie Shapiro had already managed to accumulate 20 unread text messages.

He slumped over in his chair, head in his hands. The instinctive ping from his phone was starting to wear him down, as it always did, and in a moment he'd collect himself enough to look at the texts and answer them. That seemed almost pointless- he knew exactly who they were from, exactly what they'd say, and exactly how he'd respond. Besides, there'd be new ones in just a few minutes.

He picked up the PearPhone and tried to adjust his eyes to the bright light. Robbie usually wasn't one for technology in the early morning- his high school wake-up routine had involved abstaining from looking at his phone at all before he got to class. University, however, was different, mostly because there were people who actually wanted to contact him. (People, he thought to himself as he opened the messages, was a strong word.)

Rex Powers- 19 New Messages  
hey robbie  
HEY  
are you asleep rn  
Robbie.  
I'm LOSING MY MIND. burf keeps threatening to drop out  
He says he misses you too much to stay here. good for me that my feelings are the exact opposite  
Jesus Christ, kid, would you answer me? or have you gotten so big of a head down at YALE that you wouldn't lower yourself to that level  
I'm gonna block your number one of these days  
have you met anyone? probably not, i don't even need an answer to that  
also burf won't stop talking about this new chess game he downloaded  
He doesn't even know how to play chess but i have to listen  
you were always awake at this time of the night when we lived together. what's up  
Has college changed you that much?  
nvm I don't wnat to hear about it  
i miss jade  
I don;t miss you thiough  
rorbbie?  
ok i;m goiing to sleep  
burf says hi 

Robbie allowed himself a small chuckle as he typed his response. Rex's texts tended to deteriorate in spelling and grammar as time went on, and this night was no different. He knew that underneath the rough exterior, Rex really did care about him. It had become increasingly obvious in the first few weeks of university that being away from Robbie wasn't ideal for the puppet, but Robbie was making a valiant attempt to focus on his own mental health as he entered into this new part of his life. This was, of course, mostly informed by his friends' insistent pleas that he make Rex apply to completely different postsecondary institutions than he did. They had worn him down eventually. 

Did he miss Rex? It was hard to think of it in those terms, because Rex was in such constant contact with him that it almost felt like he was physically there as well. He certainly didn't miss the pain of being constantly insulted- at least now, he could look away from the commentary for a while. But he did miss the feeling of companionship- someone who really GOT him. Andre was great, of course, and probably the best roommate he could have asked for, but he was caught up in his own issues most of the time. The same was true for the rest of his friends. Throughout high school, Rex had been like an anchor. He may have brought Robbie down, but he kept him grounded as well, and was a constant reminder that he wasn't alone, no matter how strange he felt. 

There was one new message from Jade, containing several expletives, telling him that the gang was going to meet up at the Starbucks outside of the theatre building for breakfast. Robbie tossed his phone in his bag and took a deep breath before standing up and shakily walking out of the dorm room. (He was anemic, and hadn't been too diligent about taking his iron recently, which tended to cause some problems in the standing department. Oh, well- lunch with his friends was the perfect thing to bring him out of this weird, existential slump.)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Morning." Jade and Beck greeted him at the same time as he walked into the Starbucks, the timbres of their voices blending together comfortingly. Every time he looked at either of them, something inside him reminded him of how alone he was. 

"I've got some stupid theatre history thing due Tuesday, and Beck says he's 'too busy' to help me out. Robbie, would you be a dear and write me a 2000 word paper on the importance of Shakespeare?" Jade slid an assignment sheet his way. He definitely wasn't alone when it came to people needing help with their schoolwork, and somehow that in itself was a comfort.

"Uhh... sure, yeah, I'll just have to read this over."

Jade's face lit up. "Really? I was expecting to have to smile at you a little more than that to get this one done. Thanks, Robbie, you're the best."

"Don't mention it," he grumbled. "Where are Cat, Andre and Tori?" 

Beck motioned to the door of the cafe. "They left a few minutes ago. Supposedly there's some new transfer student coming to the program, and the head of the department asked them to show him around." 

Jade rolled her eyes and took a bite of her muffin. "Oh, how INTERESTING! I can't imagine his excitement at getting to be shown around by the DELIGHTFUL Tori Vega and her slightly less interesting henchpeople! I mean, there's nothing I'd rather do than that." 

Robbie had a sneaking suspicion that Jade was just mad that Tori had been asked to show this new person around instead of her, but he decided to keep quiet. If he could help it, today would be as conflict free as possible. However, the prospect of a new student WAS interesting. The Yale performing arts program was decently sized, and people could choose majors spanning from acting to behind the scenes production. This new kid could be basically anyone, which just made them all the more intriguing.

"Have you met the new guy?" 

Beck shook his head, and Jade just gave another eyeroll. "I'm not really too interested in him," she said. "I mean, I have this Shakespeare nonsense to write."

"Wasn't I going to-" Robbie didn't have time to finish his sentence before Jade snatched the assignment sheet from in front of him and stood up from her seat, waltzing out of the Starbucks. Her purse still sat beside her, and Beck picked it up, giving Robbie an apologetic sigh. "Jade's no good with new people, have you ever realized that? I mean, the first time she met me she slapped me in the face. I didn't mind, though." 

"I'm sure you didn't. Well, I don't really have anything to do until 11. How do you feel about meeting up with the others and getting to see the new kid for ourselves? We don't have to tell Jade, of course."

Beck shrugged and swung Jade's purse over his shoulder, which Robbie took as an emphatic yes. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The two boys spent the next twenty minutes searching everywhere on campus for the rest of their friends. They tried the auditorium, the drama office, and even wandered into the engineering hallway (much to the chagrin of Beck, who had a decided dislike for engineering students- in his own words, they "were too smart for their own good"). No luck- they encountered many a professor and student, but absolutely none of the people they were looking for. Finally, they took a break on a bench outside their residence, and Robbie caught up on the new texts he had gotten from Rex.

"You could just turn your ringer off, you know?" Beck said. "That thing's been going off the entire time we've been walking, and I know you don't want to think about Rex THAT much." 

"Yeah... he'd know somehow if I did that, and would give me hell for a couple of weeks at least," Robbie responded with a tired smile. "How about we just chill in my room for a few minutes? I'll call Andre and see what he's up to. It wouldn't surprise me if he abandoned the group 30 minutes ago to go use the rehearsal room pianos, but he'd know better than us where Tori and Cat are."

"Not a bad idea!" Beck grabbed Robbie by the arm and led him by the hand (in an extremely Platonic Bro way, of course, or that's how Beck interpreted it- what Robbie thought of this particular happening will be left up to the reader's imagination) to the dorm hallway. Andre and Robbie's room was right across from Beck and Sinjin's, so they hung out in each other's spaces frequently. However, Robbie remembered, he had left his side of the room a gigantic mess, and he knew he'd be roasted at least a little bit for that by Beck. 

"What are you waiting for?" Beck reached into Robbie's pocket and took out his key, twisting it into the lock about halfway until there came an insistent banging at the door. 

"WHO ARE YOU?" The voice was unmistakably Jade West, who slammed the door open (that's a lot harder of a feat than slamming the door closed, but she can do it), almost hitting her boyfriend in the face in the process. "Ohhh. Hey Beck." 

She wasn't the only one in the room- Andre and Tori sat casually on Robbie's bed, and Cat was lying on the floor eating a packet of chips. Robbie only had time for a little bit of anger to muster up inside him before he turned to Andre's bed, expecting to see it empty. There, he saw something he had not been anticipating. The new student- it had to be! Who else would be hanging out with his friends, in their room no less? But no. His eyes must be deceiving him. He had been expecting someone decidedly more.... human. 

Perched on Andre's bed, long green legs extended outwards like an unusually amphibious French model, was the most attractive (and strangely anthropomorphic) frog that Robbie had ever seen. Not that he was attracted to frogs- quite the opposite, he found them kind of gross, but this one was something different. He had long, shapely limbs that made him the height of a normal human, and his skin seemed to be made of a light green felt material. His large, circular eyes traversed the room and landed on Robbie, giving the confused boy a gentle smile. This ... frog? Person? Frerson? Pog? seemed to be around their age, but something in his gaze was filled with wisdom. Robbie stood still for a moment, taking it all in as best he could. The moment when you meet the love of your life is never one to rush through. Once that thought appeared in his head, he tried hard to push it out, but "love of his life" was the only way he could find to describe the strange man lying a few feet away from him. Not usually prone to such sentimental thoughts, he shook his head in disbelief and let out a soft laugh. 

The frog extended a ... well, whatever you would consider the hands of frogs to be called, and Robbie shook it, noticing how firm the frog's grasp was and how delightfully soft the felt of his skin was. "I-I'm Robbie Shapiro," he said, knowing his voice was shaking. "I guess you've met my friends?"

"Hi-ho," the frog said in a singsong voice. "I'm Kermit the Frog. Nice to meet you." 

Whether it was the emphasis put on "The" in Kermit's name, or the charming lilt which coloured his speaking, or even just the sunny smile which accompanied his words, Robbie was left absolutely speechless by this strange being's introduction.


End file.
